Goals

Alright, here goes.

Hello, everyone. If you’ve been around here before for the stickers and the podcast show notes, welcome to the new section of the Squiddyverse, my development blog. This is where I will be posting updates that I can share of some of the stuff that I’m working on, and behind the scenes looks at stuff that is released later.

So things like me making handmade merch, the whole prototyping process may be documented, but possibly not released until later on when the actual item is put up for sale. Or they may be documented as I build it to actually put up to sell. This might depend on the item if it has something spoilery about it for other projects.

I’m super excited about this! For a few reasons.

It helps me be accountable, and not just to me. It also means I get to share some of the joy I get from the work that I’m doing. And maybe some of the frustrations so that others that are doing this kinda work can feel a little less alone.

That leaves me to the first official thing I want to talk about here, my goals for all of this. And by “all of this” I mean everything that I’m working on.

My first goal that I’m going to start with here, is the somewhat selfish one. I’ll clarify some of the reasons without getting into too much detail in this particular post.

1 – For a Living

Okay, this should be somewhat self-explanatory but I’m going to explain myself with… A good amount of backstory. Now, some of it gets dark so I’m taking much of that out, I have referenced it before on Creative Conundrums, and likely will again, but that’s not the point of this post.

A few years ago, I was dealing with the loss of a friend, and in the following months, the anxiety monster decided to rear its ugly head. I ended up having to quit the last part-time job I had, because I couldn’t even walk into a pharmacy. I still can’t without having an anxiety attack. There are a few other reasons I can’t leave my apartment as well, and this is long before the current pandemic.

So right now, I’m forced to be on disability, which is not great, but it keeps a roof over my head and I have some other help so I can keep at least doing the work I’m doing. But I am scared and convinced I can’t work a regular “job” again.

Then in 2019, I started the podcasting project. With Azeroth: A History, I used Sawbones as inspiration of an expert talking to a very non-expert about something, in my case World of Warcraft Lore. We started with the Patreon right away because I did (and still do) have plans for that as to what we can give back to our patrons.

Shortly after, I also started Creative Conundrums as a way to keep me on task and accountable to someone other than myself, as well as talk with someone else about the struggles of life as a creator. We haven’t figured out a lot to do for a Patreon campaign, so if you have ideas of what you’d like to see, let us know!

In addition to both of these, I had decided to start working on YouTube to add to Azeroth: A History. I had always wanted to do machinima, but never knew how, and I also wanted to do more lore bits that maybe I don’t get to talk about on the show. There’s some other stuff surrounding this as well, but those are for another day maybe.

Finally, I started streaming again at the beginning of the pandemic. Manitoba largely shut down in March, and I saw many of my extroverted friends having a tough time, so I figured, hey, I can stream the stuff I’m doing in WoW and hang out with people a bit.

That’s all the stuff I’m doing right now. There’s some other projects that are in different stages of planning as well, one put off because of the pandemic.

But here’s the big thing: This work that I’m doing, and it is definitely a lot of work, I’m feeling fulfilled. It’s fun. I’m enjoying it.

The reason I’m doing the work that I’m doing also, is for the same reason I consume work like it. It gives me a feeling of hope, because I’m distracted for a time from some serious problems. And when I can get back to the fight, I am replenished.

Which brings me to the next goal.

2 – Bardic Inspiration

I don’t know how else to label this. But this is why I consume the things that I do, and I also get this same feeling while doing the work that I’ve been doing.

I want to bring this feeling to other people. That feeling that there is something worth fighting for in the world.

This has been incredibly important going through the pandemic along with a number of other social changes that have been going on that are finally getting the attention they deserve, and some other social changes that are still not getting the attention they deserve. But it’s also difficult to give things the attention they deserve if we’re exhausted.

We need that hope. We really do. Right now more than anything else.

3 – Representation

For this I was actually inspired by a fellow streamer and friend of mine, and may require a little bit of explanation again.

I am an LGBTQIA+ person, and I am an Indigenous person. This also goes with part of the problem I hope to help with above, as these are, sadly, still included in some of the social changes that are happening right now.

The fact is, we just don’t have very much representation for certain groups. There never has been in my life, to be honest. I didn’t have the language to describe myself until much later in life. Not to mention, there was one Indigenous person in pop culture for me growing up, and it was Chakotay.

I want to be some of that representation. I want to say, I don’t represent every Two-Spirit person out there, I don’t represent every Indigenous person out there, nor do I represent every bisexual person out there. I certainly don’t represent everyone of the other LGBTQIA+ identities.

Had I grown up seeing someone who looked like me doing something awesome, I would have planned life very differently. Instead, I want to inspire people who see someone who looks like them, who shares the same identities, and I want them to believe that they can do this kind of thing, too.